You tell yourself you won’t do it today. But before you even realize it, your fingers are searching, scanning for that one strand that feels not quite right. You find it, you pull—and for a split second, there’s relief. Then comes the guilt. Why can’t I just stop?

This is the exhausting cycle of trichotillomania, also known as compulsive hair pulling. It’s not just a “bad habit” or something you do when you’re bored. It’s an urge that feels almost automatic, something your hands do before your mind even has time to catch up. And even when you do notice, stopping feels nearly impossible.

Maybe you pull when you’re anxious, trying to ease the discomfort buzzing inside you. Or maybe you do it when you’re zoned out, your mind elsewhere while your fingers do the searching on their own. Sometimes, you’re not even fully aware you’ve been pulling until you see the fallen hairs in your lap or run your fingers over a thinning spot.

And then comes the shame. You might hide the patches, change your hairstyle, or avoid situations where someone might notice. You might tell yourself, I should be able to stop. Why can’t I just have more willpower? But this isn’t about willpower. If it were that simple, you would have stopped already.

We know how frustrating and isolating trichotillomania can feel. But we also know that you are not defined by your struggles, and you have the power to create change.

Therapy isn’t about simply telling you to stop pulling—it’s about understanding why the urge is there in the first place. Right now, your brain has linked hair pulling to relief, whether it’s a way to soothe stress, escape boredom, or create a sense of control. The more you pull, the stronger that connection becomes. But the good news? That connection can be rewired.

We help you become more aware of the moments when you pull—what triggers the urge, what it feels like, and what pulling is trying to provide for you. Once you recognize these patterns, we work on new ways to respond. Instead of fighting against the urge with sheer willpower (which rarely works for long), we teach you how to sit with the discomfort and let it pass without acting on it.

We also help you find alternative behaviors that give your hands something to do when the urge strikes. It’s not about distracting yourself—it’s about breaking the automatic loop that makes pulling feel inevitable. With time, you’ll learn how to tolerate the urge without giving into it, and slowly, the need to pull will lose its grip on you.

And because we know how much guilt and shame can build up around trichotillomania, we help you work on self-compassion. You are not weak. You are not “ruining yourself.” You are someone dealing with a difficult challenge, and like any challenge, it can be worked through with patience and support.

Recovery doesn’t mean you’ll never feel the urge to pull again—it means those urges won’t control you anymore. It means you’ll have the tools to navigate them in a different way, to choose something else, and to treat yourself with kindness no matter where you are in the process.

If you’re tired of feeling stuck in this cycle, there is a way forward. You don’t have to do this alone. Support is available, and change is possible.

A New Path Forward