• Mar 2, 2025

Building the Antidote to the Inner Critic

Understanding the Voice Within

The inner voice can be cruel: “You’re not good enough. No one likes you. You’re a bad person.” It’s exhausting—and it often feels believable.

In therapy, we call this the inner critic (or negative self-talk). When we believe it, we stay stuck and miserable.

We begin by understanding the evolution of this voice: why it developed, what it says, and how it tries to “protect” you. Together, we identify its core claims and the perfectionistic expectations it imposes—so we can see its logic clearly.

From there, we can start to challenge it.

Why Neutral Beats Perfect

Challenging the critic is hard—it’s been around a long time. Trying to annihilate it usually backfires. So we move gradually, with small, steady steps.

One favorite approach is self-neutrality: viewing ourselves with acceptance and neutrality. If the critic insists you’re “bad,” convincing yourself you’re “good” might feel impossible. Through a neutral lens, we acknowledge our humanity: people are imperfect; we do helpful and unhelpful things. Actions aren’t essence.

The inner critic demands perfection—and perfection isn’t real.

Creating Space for Self-Compassion

Together, we reframe struggles through a human, compassionate lens. Gradually, the critic feels less all-knowing. We learn to see it as irrational, catastrophic, and needlessly judgmental.

With consistent practice, its grip loosens. The path isn’t linear—discomfort is part of the work. But that discomfort teaches us to trust the process…and ourselves.

Despite what the critic says, choosing this path takes strength. You can do hard things.

Tools We May Use in Therapy

• CBT thought work: identify distortions (all-or-nothing, mind reading, catastrophizing) and build balanced counterstatements.
• Self-neutral scripts: “I am a human who sometimes gets it right and sometimes doesn’t.”
• Compassionate self-talk: speak to yourself like you would to a close friend in the same situation.
• Values checks (ACT): take small actions aligned with your values even when the critic is loud.
• Mindfulness & body awareness: notice urge-to-fix, tension, or shame waves—name them, breathe, and allow them to pass.
• Evidence journals: track real examples that contradict the critic’s absolute claims.